You know that ADHD thing where you’re infatuated with something so deeply that you turn your life upside down for it, only to be completely and utterly “over it” one random Tuesday?

Yeah. That’s where I am.

You see, I started talking about ADHD publicly about 6 years ago - with my main goal being that I needed to find other women like me. I NEEDED that. I started a podcast, hosted retreats, gained 170,000 followers, started working with an ADHD coaching company (shout out to Shimmer!), partnered with brands, and I turned my whole life into all things ADHD.

Somewhere along the way, I started looking at this work through a different lens. It was less about connecting with the community and more about telling the story of: time blindness, RSD, burnout, executive functioning… I just became a glossary of ADHD terms and lost the plot. Just a bit.

And last week, as I helped host an in-person event for this community in Austin, TX (NeuroDiversion) - I was jolted right back to why I started this thing in the first place. I don’t want to just TALK about ADHD all day and all night. I want to HUG the ADHDers and be there when they tell me FACE TO FACE how hard it’s been for them. I want to be there to listen to them when they look me in the eye and tell me how sad they are, how much they’re struggling. I want to hold space for people. It’s what I’m best at.

I was lost in all the ADHD terminology and I’m finding my way back.

I’m not sure what this looks like moving forward, except to say that I need it to be in-person. I need to be in more rooms and spaces with you. I want to host retreats again. I want to host events for you, with you.

I’m considering hosting an ADHD Women’s Retreat here in the beautiful Smoky Mountains - my home. If you are interested in being a part of this inaugural retreat experience, please fill out this (short and sweet) interest form: Right here!

If you’ve made it this far, please know that I’m grateful that you’ve been here with me this whole time.. I’ve wept many, many nights about the support and love that I’ve been shown just for openly being my weird-ass self. Thank you.

xoxo,

Trina

(a few more photos from the incredible week at NeuroDiversion 👇)

One the greatest joys in my life since starting this crazy ADHD adventure has been to meet SO MANY incredible ADHDers in-person. It’s been a gift to myself that just keeps giving and giving and giving. There isn’t enough space in this email for me to detail the impact. But trust me, the impact has been massive.

All I know is that I want it for you, too.

Alongside a team of wildly talented, heart-centered neurodivergent folks, I’ve worked to help build something truly unique and important for this community. 👇

NeuroDiversion 2026 is approaching and now is your chance to grab a spot and find your people.

NeuroDiversion 2026 takes place March 20-22 in Austin, TX - held at a beautiful venue just 15 minutes from the airport. Speakers include Tiffany Yu, Scott Barry Kaufman, Dani Donovan, and Haley Honeyman. Plus we’re adding ND Expo - a curated marketplace of products actually designed for neurodivergent minds.

If you’ve ever felt like your brain works differently than everyone else’s and wished you could spend time with people who simply get it, this event is for you.

If you’ve been on the fence, register now!

Early bird pricing ends tonight at midnight, or sooner if we sell out of the first wave of tickets.

Want to see what this event is ACTUALLY like? 👀 Check out this full recap/review from Jessica McCabe from “How to ADHD”. Jessica was a keynote speaker from NeuroDiversion this past spring, and she explains exactly why this event is unique and what you can expect in 2026.

Questions about the event? Email me: Myladyadhd@gmail.com

I hope you can be there with us.

So much love,

Trina

We’re officially 9 days away from NeuroDiversion in Austin, and I’m equal parts thrilled and overwhelmed. If you’re coming, get ready for a weekend full of connection, learning, and just the right amount of chaos. And if you’re still on the fence, there’s still time to join us! I’ll be there speaking on not one, but TWO panels and I’d love to meet you in-person!!

Learn More

ALSO - A few of my amazing friends have recently launched books, and I want to celebrate them! If you're looking for something to add to your reading list, check these out:

📖 How to Eat Well for Adults with ADHD by Rebecca King – a complete guide to how to cook regularly, eat intuitively, and nourish yourself well when you have ADHD.

📖 It All Makes Sense Now by Meredith Carder – the personal and coaching experience of an ADHDer, actionable tools and techniques to understand your ADHD brain and unlock life's possibilities.

📖 You, Me, and our ADHD Family by Tamara Rosier - honest assessments of the challenges you face and practical strategies to help you focus on protecting and improving the relationships that matter most.

📖 The ADHD Focus Friend by Grace Koelma - An informative and beautiful productivity workbook designed for the neurodivergent brain, backed by science and filled with tools for shame-free organization.

A few other resources that I’m loving:

⭐ Shimmer ADHD Coaching and their Friendship Guide that includes a handy friendship rolodex template to help you stay connected 💗 (Interested in trying out coaching? Use code: MYLADYADHD at checkout for 35% off your first month RIGHT HERE)

⭐ Llama Life and their task management app. It allows you to plot your tasks, set a timer, and get into a routine throughout the workday. Plus it has lots of whimsical, fun features to keep you engaged.

⭐ Anti-Planner: How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don’t Feel Like It by Dani Donovan - an activity book specifically designed to help procrastinators.

Hope to see you in Austin in just a few short weeks!

xoxo,

Trina

I want to know. How are you managing at work?

There are so many unknowns when you’re diagnosed with ADHD and you’re struggling at work. What the heck are accommodations? Do I disclose at work? Heck, I had 50,000 followers on Instagram (talking solely about ADHD) before I felt comfortable enough to tell my employer about my ADHD.

This common struggle is one reason that I helped build a resource that helps tackle these issues. You can download this resource ~ ADHD in the Workplace Guide for FREE below👇

ADHD in the Workplace Guide

💖Transparently, I’ve finally found my place working at Shimmer, because I fully believe in their mission and know that it’s a great resource and option for this community. If you want to go down the ADHD Coaching rabbit hole and want to give it a try, you can use code: MYLADYADHD at checkout for 35% Off your first month!

If you’ve worked with Shimmer before, I’d love to hear your feedback in the comments 😇

Check out Shimmer

Also, today is a HUGE day for the team as we’re launching Shimmer 2.0 on Product Hunt. We are currently in 2nd place for the day — and we need your help to get to 1st!! We would be so so so grateful if you helped us hit this goal!

Vote on Product Hunt

I mean, look how cute we are:

So much love,

Trina

I am so excited to announce that this March, I will be attending NeuroDiversion in Austin, Texas! This is a groundbreaking in-person event designed specifically for the neurodivergent community, and I would love to see you there! If you’ve ever wanted to connect with like-minded individuals who truly understand and celebrate neurodiversity, this is the place for you.

Event Details:

Dates: March 27-29, 2024

Location: Fair Market in Austin, TX

Website: Neurodiversion.org

Instagram: instagram.com/neurodiversionevent

NeuroDiversion is more than just a conference. It’s a vibrant community experience that brings together thought leaders, creators, and advocates to celebrate, support, and amplify the voices of neurodivergent individuals. Over the course of three days, there will be inspiring keynote speakers, engaging workshops, networking opportunities, and so much more.

Why You Should Join Us:

• Learn from a diverse lineup of incredible speakers who are shaping the future for neurodivergent communities.

• Participate in workshops tailored to help you thrive in your personal and professional life.

• Build authentic connections with peers who understand your journey.

• Leave inspired and equipped with actionable tools to make a difference.

If this resonates with you, don’t wait—tickets are on sale TODAY, January 14th!

Learn More

I had a deep conversation about burnout, a whole year ago, with my good friend and fellow ADHDer, Meredith Carder, that just stuck with me. I was in the depths of burnout after my whirlwind social media growth, hosting my first retreat, and feeling alllll the ADHD-isms that come along with life with a neurodivergent brain...

I. Was. Miserable.

The gist of my conversation with Meredith was that I learned that her MAIN FOCUS in life was to actively prevent burnout. 🤯 I’ve spent the last year of my life trying to figure out what that means, what that looks like.. and today I’m going to share just a few bits that I’ve carried with me in 2024.

But first…

Okay, Trina’s tips for burnout prevention:

• Have someone help you with prioritization…REGULARLY. Walk them through your calendar and say out loud all of the tasks that you’ve added to your plate. Saying them out loud will help you realize how maxed out you really are. My husband helps me here, but also my ADHD Coach (my coach is through Shimmer 🧡)

• Once you confirm how unmanageable your schedule is, eliminate the unnecessary stuff. Delegate if you must.. but please, just scrutinize the heck out of your calendar and allow for SPACE.

• Figure out what recharges you. Walks? Reading? Time with friends? Swimming? Okay, now ADD THOSE THINGS IN to your calendar. ADD THEM.

• Know how to spot the burnout train… and then shift as needed. I can spot the burnout train from here (busy ADHD Awareness month, a conference, a big trip, the holidays…) I am quickly approaching the burnout train if I’m not careful. So, I’m AWARE. ← very important.

What’s working for you? Have any tips to help with burnout? ⬇️

Leave a comment

This is longer than intended… but bear with me. I have two exciting events to announce! One virtual and one IN-PERSON! 😱😱😱

1. You’ll want to attend THIS EVENT on October 24th ⬇️⬇️⬇️ I’ll be chatting with my friends Chris Wang and Jesse Anderson about all things late-diagnosis. This is the place to feel seen.

Register Here

2. You’ll also want to be a part of this incredible IN-PERSON event ⬇️ I am excited to be a tiny piece of the planning committee for this event and I will be there myself in March - excited to meet as many ADHDers as I can. 🧡 This is going to be so memorable.

   

   

   This inaugural event will be held in Austin, Texas in March 2025. 

   If you’d like to be there—or at least be kept updated on ticket sales—join the dedicated waiting list so you’ll be the first to know all the details.

   So excited for this one, guys.

You stayed til the very end. 🍪 ← A cookie. 😉

So much love,

Trina

Transition season seems to be upon us - back to school time, weather changes, less Summer fun and more getting “back to business”. 😣 Can’t say I’m thrilled over here. Tis’ the season to fill out paperwork, schedule appointments, and do all of the things that my ADHD brain just.. well… LOATHES.

I’m not going to give you a massive list of how to survive transition season. That seems overwhelming. But, what I will do is offer a few resources that are carrying me through.

RESOURCES 👇

This FREE EVENT on August 28th, brings together voices from the neurodivergent community to explore the unique challenges and triumphs of parenting as individuals with ADHD and other neurodivergent traits.

​Featuring Tamara Rosier, author of "Your Brain's Not Broken" and "You, Me, and our ADHD Family," alongside expert ADHD coach from Shimmer, Amanda O'Brien, this event will delve into strategies for managing the back-to-school season while embracing neurodivergent strengths. Oh, and I’ll be there too!

Panelists will share personal stories, practical tips, and insights to empower neurodivergent parents as they support their children through the school year.

Register Here

PODCAST EPISODES ABOUT TRANSITIONS 👇

🧠 “Nine Parts of a Transition with Brendan Mahan” on Hacking Your ADHD: Listen here

🧠“Why are Transitions Hard with ADHD?” on Taking Control - The ADHD Podcast: Listen here

🧠 “ADHD, transitions and back to school” on Refocused Podcast: Listen here

Tools I’m using 👇

🧰 Llama Life to get through that dreaded to-do list. It’s full of novelty and fun.. and it’s just plain easy to use. ✔️✔️✔️ It’s basically a little window on your desktop that shows your to-do list with a timer, but it’s colorful and engaging. L-O-V-E.

🧰 1Thrive Wall Organizers are EVERYTHING in my house. Ours is in our kitchen and it is the HUB that we rely on. My 15 year old loves to decorate it each month and I don’t know what I’d do without this thing. They have so many options that are interchangeable. 💖 Use code: TRINA25 at checkout for $25 off of $100 or more.

REMINDERS 👇

💗Practice Self-Compassion during this time. “Self-compassion is simply giving yourself the same kindness that you would give to a friend” - Christopher Germer

💗 Get accommodations if needed. Here’s a blog about workplace accommodations and here’s one for accommodations at school.

💗 Ask for support. (I know this one’s tough) Here’s a blog about asking for help with ADHD.

So much love,

Trina

I wanna talk about shame today. (I know. Thrilling. Just what you’ve been hoping for 🫠) It’s been coming up for me more than I’d like to admit, and I think there’s a lot to unpack here. For all of us.

But first, a poll:

I’ve been working with an ADHD Coach for a while now, and recently I’ve started to connect the dots between my overwhelm and SHAME.

Here’s an example:

I’m currently avoiding calling a family member (whom I love deeply). It feels overwhelming because I know I’ll likely need to apologize for yet another thing I’ve probably done/not done: not calling back soon enough, not responding to texts, forgetting something important… Whatever it is, I’m 125% sure I’ve done one or all of these things and there’s SO. MUCH. SHAME.

It’s the apologizing for being ME that hurts the most. 😞

But, here’s where my coach from Shimmer has helped: I’m working on strategies to eliminate this specific issue with phone calls. For example: I’m not allowed to say “I’ll call you back” anymore. It ain’t happening - so stop saying it. Instead, I’m asking my family/friends to help me with this issue. I’m being much more open and honest about my (very real) struggles with memory and asking for their help instead of always apologizing. I’m involving them in the process more and more. We’re scheduling our more regular chats via Calendly now. So far, it’s working for me.

I know not everyone is supportive - that’s an issue for another newsletter.😉 But, if you’re struggling in an area, maybe help is needed. And maybe that’s okay. ?

I’m interested to hear some of your experiences with shame and how you’re overcoming it. Leave a comment - I know it will help someone else.

Leave a comment

To brag on Shimmer one more time, they are hosting an event on Monday, July 1st that I think goes right along with this, because reflection time is so critical for us.

This goal-setting workshop is the perfect opportunity to look at the first half of the year and set a strong course for the remainder of 2024. I encourage you to reflect on how shame is showing up in your daily life and how the heck you can remove it.

IT HAS TO GO. ✌️

Wishing you a shame-free rest of the week.. 💖

So much love,

Trina

This may be a sensitive topic… I’m not 100% sure. So…

Let’s talk about Reading. 👇📚

ADHD can affect reading in a few ways, such as:

🌻Focus: ADHD readers may struggle to maintain focus on the words on the page, resulting in losing their place (👋this is me) , skipping words, and experiencing difficulties with information retention.

🧠 Mental effort: You may find it challenging to stay motivated and engaged while reading material that doesn't captivate your interest.

✨ Comprehension: Understanding and retaining information may be difficult for individuals with ADHD.

🐿️ Distractions: People with ADHD may easily get sidetracked while reading.

I resonate with each of these struggles, which is why I’ve found it sooo enjoyable to read books that are written by ADHD authors. 💗 The pace and structure of these books are generally easier for me to follow and I’d love to share a few of my faves! (most of which are available in audio format 😉)

Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to ADHD, by Jesse J. Anderson

Extra Focus is one of my favorite books to recommend to a newly-diagnosed ADHDer. It’s so simple to read, extremely helpful, and even has pictures throughout! 🏆Jesse is also one of my closest friends and I know how hard he worked to create this amazing resource.

Keeping Finance Personal: Ditch the “Shoulds” and the Shame and Rewrite Your Money Story, by Ellyce Fulmore

An intersectional approach to personal finance from queer, neurodivergent personal finance educator and TikToker, Ellyce Fulmore. I love the realness and relatability that Ellyce brings to this topic. This one’s for all the ADHDers who struggle with money.

It All Makes Sense Now: Embrace Your ADHD Brain to Live a Creative and Colorful Life, by Meredith Carder

This one is a real treat for me to introduce to you - as it’s written by my amazing friend, Meredith Carder. From the personal and coaching experience of an ADHDer, this book provides actionable tools and techniques to understand your ADHD brain. Pre-order it here!

To see my full list of book recommendations - GO HERE 😊

Look - you’re not so bad at reading! You’ve made it this far 😉

Just one more thing to mention before I get back to my normal dilly-dallying…

THIS EVENT 👇👇

This panel is hosted by Shimmer ADHD Coaching & ADHD reWired and brings together neurodivergent voices from the LGBTQ+ community to share their unique stories, challenges, and successes. This event is tomorrow, June 13th at 1:30pm PT/4:30pm ET.. and it’s completely FREE! Sign up here!

As always, thanks for spending a few minutes with me. The ADHD Community carries me in ways that I can’t explain to neurotypical people.. and I’m grateful to you for being here. 💗

So much love,

Trina

I’m a sucker for ADHD-friendly gadgets. I buy all the journals… the stickers.. the fidget toys. 🙃 The algorithm knows this and I’m constantly being fed the ads for ADHD-related products.

I decided to save you time and energy, and I’ll be sharing my favorite findings more regularly… so, here we go..

But first.. a poll:

My Top ADHD-Friendly Tools that are working for me (this month 😜)

Llama Life

Rarely do productivity-related apps/systems work for me for very long - but I’ve recently discovered LlamaLife and I’m really digging it. I think I love it because it was so clearly designed by someone with ADHD. LlamaLife is this nifty little side bar in my browser that helps me stay on track with tasks and includes a visual timer, fun sounds, and visual effects when you complete tasks. Check it out here

Pipersong Meditation Chair

I know I’ve mentioned this before - but honestly, I can’t scream praises loud enough. I’m basically obsessed with my chair. I am so excited to sit down at this thing each day - it’s changed the way that I work. Check it out!

Speks

Anyone who’s been on a Zoom with me in that last 3-4 months can testify that I am ALWAYS playing with my Speks fidget toy. Speks is a must for my desk! The magnetic balls are my absolute favorite. 20/10 recommend!

Use code TRINA2024 at checkout for 10% Off! 👉 Check out Speks

Loop Earplugs

Loop is hands-down the most recommended earplug within the ADHD Community - someone mentions Loop Earplugs to me nearly every week. If you struggle with over-stimulation, sleep, focus, parenting, etc — Loop may be a great solution for you.

Check them out

Share your fave ADHD-friendly tools with us! 👇

Leave a comment

🌟 Save the Date! 🌟

I’m so excited to be hosting an upcoming panel discussion on AuDHD, in partnership with Shimmer ADHD Coaching! Join us on April 23rd for a thought-provoking panel discussion where AuDHD Creators and Advocates share their personal journeys navigating the unique intersection of Autism and ADHD. This is a FREE event and I’d love to see you there!

Register Here

As always, I’m grateful for your support. If you know of anyone who might like to attend this event, please feel free to share away! 👇👇

xoxo,

Trina

I’m there.

First of all, I shifted into a new role recently - and I’ve been so busy with that transition, that I haven’t even mentioned it here. So, SURPRISE! I’m now the Growth and Partnerships Manager for Shimmer ADHD Coaching! 😲 This was a match made in heaven and I’m blissfully happy working with this team of caring, kind, creative, passionate souls. This company truly cares about the ADHD community and it shows.

Also, I’m packing up our house and moving. 🏡 So there’s that.

I’m kicking things off with Shimmer by hosting a FREE body doubling session this THURSDAY, April 11th at 3:30pm EST/12:30pm PST. This session is for all the ADHDers who still need to work on their taxes. 🤮 We’ll be hunkering down and supporting one another during this (painful) process. I promise it will be more fun together. 😁

Sign up here

Okay, back to transitions…

TRANSITIONS. ARE. SO. HARD.

And here’s why…

• Transitions often require a seamless shift from one set of cognitive and physical actions to another, which can be hard when executive functions are impaired. (Yay us!)

• Disruption in routine. (need I say more?)

• People with ADHD often experience heightened emotional sensitivity - Fear of failure or uncertainty can be significantly more daunting, leading to anxiety or avoidance behavior. (✋truly offended by this one)

• Deciding what needs to be done first can be particularly challenging during transitions. For someone with ADHD, everything can seem equally urgent, making it hard to prioritize tasks effectively.

Does this resonate? I know it probably does.

Here’s how I’m combating all of the above 👆

• Accepting the chaos. It’s going to be hectic for a while… I’ve come to terms with that.

• Asking for help. Heck, even paying people to help. (when possible)

• Quiet time alone. Quiet time alone. Quiet time alone. Personally, I require much more calm, peace, and comfort during this time. The heated blanket is my friend.

• Embracing my imagination - this is an exciting time full of possibilities and I’ve been spending a lot of time daydreaming. Just have to be careful not to daydream about all the stress haha

I’m so grateful for the opportunities that have been put in front of me and for YOU - the ADHD community that has carried me since my diagnosis in 2021. May you daydream your way through whatever life transition you’re going through.

xoxo,

Trina

Before being diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s, I had no idea how much my poor time management was impacting my life. It’s so obvious now. It shows up in every aspect of my day - included (but not limited to) the writing of this very newsletter. I thought I had more time. I always think that I have more time. Poor time management is one of those things that “just makes sense” - like most of the symptoms of ADHD.

So, what’s the deal with time?

Knowing the time, how much is left, and the passage of time are crucial for good executive function - and also something you might struggle with if you have ADHD. US-based ADHD expert, Dr Russell Barkley explains: “ADHD creates a blindness to time, or more accurately, a nearsightedness to the future. The further out the event lies, the less capable they are of dealing with it.” 

As reported in Psych Central, there are two factors that affect time perception: 

1. The brain, which uses memory, attention, and dopamine to accurately predict time, and 

2. The body’s circadian rhythm, or internal body clock, which is based on the earth’s rotation. 

Research suggests that there are differences in the ADHD brain that could impact our relationship with time, including: 

• blocked brain connection throughout the central nervous system, which controls how time is perceived
• altered frontal lobe activity, which affects the ability to estimate time
• differences in the prefrontal cortex and the pathways that control dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps signal pleasure and sustain motivation. 

That’s a bit of the science… but how does it show up in real life?

Time management struggles can look like: putting waayyy too many tasks on your to-do list because you can’t quite estimate how long those tasks will take… or, birthdays and holidays sneaking up on you… or, THIS:

What can we do about it?

Here are a few quick tips to help with time management:

1. Use visual aids: Visual reminders like clocks, timers, or calendars can help you stay on track and better manage your time. (I’m a big fan of Time Timer)

2. Create a routine: Establishing a daily routine can help you better gauge the passage of time and stay on task. (easier said than done, I know)

3. Break tasks into smaller chunks: Breaking larger tasks into smaller, more manageable tasks can help make them feel less overwhelming and more doable.

4. Use alarms: Setting reminders or alarms can help keep you on track and ensure you don't lose track of time. (timers/reminders are my BFF)

5. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness exercises can help you stay present and in the moment, which can help you better understand the passage of time.

What's working for you??

Leave a comment

I think this is the perfect time to share this podcast episode featuring my incredible friend and founder of LlamaLife, Marie NG. Llama life is one of the tools I recommend most for ADHDers who need help managing to-do lists.

One of the most relatable episodes to date - hope you enjoy!

Listen Here

As always, your support means the world to me and I’m so grateful for this community. If you are interested in 1:1 Coaching with me, I will have 2 brand new spots available beginning in April! I’m so excited to connect with even more ADHDers this year. Schedule an intro call with me here 👇

Schedule a Chat

Much love,

Trina

I’ve spent a lot of time recently reflecting on how I got here, where I’m going, and how to get somewhere new. A new year will do that to you.

In December, I was so lucky to participate in Jesse Anderson’s Plan Your Extra Focus Year Workshop - 10/10 recommend downloading his workbook and setting aside a chunk of time to go through it. It was eye-opening.

But, it didn’t start out that way.

When I first sat down to review my 2023, this is basically all I could dig up from the past year:

January - Don’t remember

February - No Clue

March - Probably wore green at some point? 🍀

April - Couldn’t remember if my life depended on it

May - Started getting warm outside probably

June - Yay Summer!

July - I think there were some birthday parties? And yay summer!

August - Starting to remember bits

September - Nope. Nothing.

October - Can’t even remember what my Halloween costume was

November - ADHD Conference! Omg how is it almost Christmas?

December - Merry mother of pearl, what the hell happened this year

Sound familiar?

I was DEEPLY concerned by my lack of memory and inability to recall what exactly happened over the course of my year…and I can’t help but blame my ADHD. Poor memory is deeply connected to ADHD - you can learn more about that HERE via an article by Verywellmind.

I’m sure this resonates with you.

After a LOT of reflection and research, I discovered what actually happened in my world in 2023: (Yes - I had to RESEARCH what the hell happened in my own life)

• I hosted the first ever ADHD Women’s Retreat in Jamaica and the dang thing sold out. 😲

• My Instagram page hit 193,000 followers

• BURNOUT. So much burnout that I stopped my podcast, newsletter, coaching and content creation completely - as you may have noticed ? (I’m slowly making my way back - stay tuned 😉)

• I partnered with Universal Studios and was able to take my family of five on an all-expense paid trip of a lifetime (Yes - I had FORGOTTEN that this happened)

• I went to Disney World on a separate trip with one of my childhood friends

• I went to sporting events, concerts, conferences..

• Oh yeah, did I mention that I was featured in a documentary about ADHD??

I tell you all of this for two reasons… 1) To help you feel seen. No one understands these memory issues the way that another ADHDer does. I see you and omg I feel it too. And 2) to share some important steps that you can take to not forget your life…

A few of my recommendations for remembering are:

• Scroll through your photo album in your phone - such a great visual reminder of what you’ve been up to

• JOURNAL and read back through the pages periodically

• Set aside time for this exercise. Remembering is so important and critical - otherwise, we can feel unproductive and lazy. In reality, I’m guessing you accomplished so much in the last year. ❤

I’d love to hear about the accomplishments in 2023 that you forgot about! Share them here 👇

Leave a comment

On a very important side note, I want to thank you for sticking it out with me and for being here on this journey. Part of me wants to apologize for stepping away, but part of me knows that you understand more than anyone. I’m excited to be back and creating more ADHD content in 2024 - Thank you for your support.

Much love,

Trina

Oops.

I know that you understand. You’ve been there too - you’re probably there right now.

Burnout.

Here are a few ways that I’m trying to stay ahead of burnout:

• Cancelling/moving appointments that aren’t absolutely critical (all while remembering that the Earth will still spin even if I cancel a dentist appointment or reschedule a podcast interview) This is a key reminder: the Earth will still spin 🌎

• More, more, so much more self-care. I’m talking: heated eye mask with lavender tea, lonnngg hot showers, meditations, and early bedtimes

• Trying my best to make no major life decisions during this time. Just because I’m burnt out doesn’t mean I should quit my job or move out of my house 🤣 In fact, those things will only escalate burnout right now. Let’s wait.

• No shame. Repeat that again - NO SHAME. This is a time when I could really beat myself up for the overscheduling and for the cancellations… but guess what - that also won’t help with burnout. Shame = 👋 Bye bye

In related news…

The podcast will resume next week 10/11/23 and I’m excited to share some insightful conversations that I’ve had with ADHD Documentary Producer - Jessi Sorensen, and also ADHD Experts Ned Hallowell and Sharon Saline. Thanks for being patient with me here and for supporting the My Lady ADHD Podcast. Your support is pretty amazing. If you’d like to catch up on recent episodes, you can do that HERE.

In even more related news…

I just returned from the most epic week of my life at the ADHD Women’s Retreat in Jamaica. Roughly 20 women who didn’t know anything about one another are now all incredible friends after a week of adventure, laughter, and many tears (mostly it was me crying). It was a week that I will always cherish. ❤

The experience was so rewarding and impactful, that we’re doing it again! Not once, not twice, but three times in 2024! We will be announcing dates/locations very soon!! I will share those announcements here in the newsletter first - but if you’d like to be a part of the excitement, I’d love it if you followed us HERE ON INSTAGRAM.

So grateful.

Trina

I’ve been missing in action for a few weeks - the ol’ burnout has had a grip on me. I’m easing my way back in by sharing a few of my favorite ADHD-related products that I’m loving right now.

I’m also headed to Jamaica in a few days for the ADHD Women’s Retreat 😱 If you’re interested in future ADHD retreats, you’ll want to sign up for that mailing list HERE for updates.

Oh wait, a poll!!

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…for at least 20 seconds…

1Thrive Wall Organizer:

Hellloooo hyperfocus! A friend of mine had one of these in her house and I knew immediately that I needed one of these in my life. This has got to be one of the most ADHD-friendly products that I’ve seen in a hot minute. This thing is fab because it allows for so much creativity. I keep this bad boy in my kitchen and it’s really helping the whole house stay organized. L-O-V-E this thing.

Check it out

Speks Fidget Toys:

My fave fidget toy, by far. 👇

Speks Toys

Llama Life:

My go-to productivity tool is Llama Life. This nifty gadget gets me through my workday like no other gadget has. I really love this little guy. A few of my favorite features: Visual timer, color options for dayyyyss, emojis, fun confetti when you complete a task, and it also lets you know what time you’ll finish with all of your tasks - so it helps me to not overload my day. 10/10 recommend. Try it for free with no credit card needed at signup

Try Llama Life

Extra Focus - The Quick Start Guide to ADHD, by Jesse J. Anderson:

Do yourself a favor and read this book. This was the book that I needed when I was first diagnosed with ADHD. Jesse is a very talented friend of mine and I’m so excited that his book is finally here!

You can also subscribe to on Substack. Grab your copy of his new book 👇

Pipersong Meditation Chair:

You’re not getting out of this email without seeing my chair. You guys know I love my chair. So many ways to wiggle and squirm in this chair. I’m in love.

Epic Chair

What products are you loving right now? I’d love to know!

Leave a comment

It’s also… PODCAST DAY!! The podcast has returned with a BANG - and you do not want to miss this episode featuring ADHD Business Coach, Ari Scott. We talk about all things burnout & Entrepreneurship, and a few fab tangents in-between.

Listen Here

I think that’s all I have in me for today. Thank you for being here.

xoxo,

Trina

I’m a day late on the newsletter… and I flat-out skipped posting a podcast this week. Don’t worry - I’ve already spiraled and beat myself up for it thoroughly. It’s funny how something so small can turn into something so big in my mind. Relatable? Probably.

This feels like the right time for a poll.

➡️If you walk away from this email today with one thing - let it be:

➡️If you walk away from this email with TWO things - let the second one be THIS:

I’ve been working behind the scenes with Shimmer ADHD Coaching to put together a much-needed resource for ADHDers who are struggling in the workplace. (which is probably most of us 🫠)

I’ve been super open about the chaos that has been my career — and THIS GUIDE is what would have helped me when I was in the thick of it. I hope you not only download it, but that you share it with someone who might need it.

Big thank you to Shimmer for collaborating on this project!

Get it Here!

This is the space where I usually tell you all about the podcast episode that just launched. Instead, I’ll tell you a short story about why I didn’t launch one this week.

I’m tired.

The end.

It’s been really important for me to be honest with myself about my limitations - and to take breaks when needed. This is me showing up for myself. Maybe it will inspire you to do the same. The podcast will resume next week - or, maybe not. I trust that your life won’t be shattered by me taking a week or two off… the same way that I trust that you taking a break will also not shatter the lives of the people around you.

TAKE THE BREAK.

If you’re feeling like you just can’t go on without the My Lady ADHD Podcast, I urge you to check out this episode from last week featuring my friend Kara Jo - we talk about career coaching and it ties in pretty nicely with that guide up there ☝

If you’re looking for career coaching, Kara is my top recommendation.

You can work with her HERE

Listen Here

As always, your support of My Lady ADHD means the world to me. I would not be doing this work without you.

If you are interested in 1:1 Coaching with me, visit: www.trinahaynes.com

💖Much love,

Trina

My name is Trina and I interrupt people. A lot. All the time actually. Hell, I interrupt MYSELF basically every minute of the day. Let’s see where you stand 👇

According to this article in VeryWell mind, “the tendency to interrupt conversations or cut people off likely stems from a combination of ADHD symptoms including poor impulse control, inability to choose what we pay attention to, and poor working memory.”

I don’t know about you, but: ✔️✔️✔️

My habit of interrupting others has really been one of the hardest traits of ADHD to deal with - since most of the time others just think that I’m being rude and inconsiderate.

OR, I bite my tongue (sometimes literally) so that I won’t interrupt, and I end up completely losing the conversation because I’m trying so hard not to interrupt. The struggle is very real. I have a feeling that you can relate.

Share My Lady ADHD

A few tips for my fellow interrupters:

⭐ Ask for understanding from friends and family - if the topic of conversation is really interesting/exciting to you, let them know ahead of time that you’re really excited to talk about it and that you’ll try not to interrupt, but that it could happen

⭐ Practice deep breathing during conversations - Inhaling deeply can help lower stress levels, enhancing our ability to concentrate on the immediate task – actively listening and connecting with others, rather than talking over them

⭐Don’t be too hard on yourself - remember that this can be a part of having ADHD. Self-compassion goes a long way here. 💖

What tips do you have for ADHDers struggling with interrupting? What’s working for you?

Leave a comment

In other news… it’s PODCAST DAY!!! This week I'm joined by my friend, Chris Wang, from Shimmer - ADHD Coaching for Adults. We're taking a dive into 9 signs it might be ADHD, looking at Russell Barkley's work from the book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD

Listen Here

Oh! And if you’re interested in 1:1 Coaching with me - I have ONE whole spot left on my calendar and I’d love to connect and learn more about you. You can take a peek at my calendar HERE and see how coaching could help.

Learn more at: TrinaHaynes.com

So much love,

Trina

Something is bothering me. It’s about disclosing your ADHD in the workplace. Recently, I’ve been put into spaces with some of the top ADHD experts (in webinars, courses, panels, podcasts, etc.) and the topic of disclosing your ADHD to your employer KEEPS COMING UP, and time and time again - the experts are telling us not to disclose our ADHD at work. WHICH I DO UNDERSTAND. But, still… I don’t fully understand.

This feels like a controversial opinion, but here’s my perspective as someone who 100% owns her ADHD… take it or leave it, but certainly don’t consider this legal advice in any way, shape, or form.

Disclosing my ADHD to the world (no joke, sometimes it feels like the whole world knows) has drastically changed my life FOR THE BETTER. I’ve been open to employers and to hiring managers about my ADHD. Sometimes the stigma is still there - and education is needed. But sometimes… no, MOST of the time… it sparks a deeper connection. I learn MORE about my peers, my friends, my bosses, and they learn more about me. I’m telling you, being open about my ADHD and my NEEDS has been nothing short of life-changing for me… in all the best ways.

I understand that not everyone is in a place with this kind of privilege - where they can afford the potential backlash from disclosing their ADHD to their employer. But, I want to challenge you with these questions when you’re considering NOT disclosing your ADHD at your workplace:

• Do you want to work somewhere where you are not celebrated and accepted for who you are?

• Do you want to be masking 24/7 at work?

• Do you want to wait until you’re in an icky situation at work before asking for accommodations/help?

Again, I get it. We all can’t be so picky and choosy when it comes to employment. These are just questions that I ask myself when I’m job hunting - and I wanted to share them with you.. for no other reason than to make you think about it.

A few other things:

• You can ask for accommodations at work without ever disclosing that you have ADHD. “_________ would help me perform my job better” - can be a starting point.

• Companies will not make changes to the work environment if they don’t know that they need to. It sometimes takes a brave soul to move the needle for others.

• If you’re not sure what workplace accommodations look like, check out this article

  

I HIGHLY recommend you listen to this week’s podcast episode featuring ADHD Coach, Jaye Lin, where we go in-depth about this topic and offer up some very helpful tips around disclosure. If you’re on the fence about disclosing your diagnosis, or need some tips on how to have the conversation - this episode is screaming your name.

Tune in

I feel better getting that off my chest. But, I want to hear your experiences with disclosing in the workplace. 👇👇👇👇

Leave a comment

Have a freakin fabulous day, friend.

xoxo,

Trina

When I first heard the term “Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria” (also referred to as RSD) I didn’t immediately resonate with it… until I started paying closer attention to my people-pleasing tendencies. Yeah. RSD is a part of my life too.

First identified by William Dodson, RSD is a highly emotional response to perceived or real criticism, rejection, or failure. People with RSD often experience intense emotional reactions, such as sadness, anxiety, or anger, in response to situations where they feel rejected or judged. These feelings can be overwhelming and might lead to a strong desire to avoid situations where they could face potential rejection.

A few signs it might be RSD:

1. Heightened Emotional Responses: If you notice that you experience intense emotional reactions to seemingly small or trivial events, it could be a sign of RSD. Criticism, rejection, or even minor setbacks may trigger overwhelming feelings that are difficult to control.

2. Fear of Rejection: RSD often leads to a heightened fear of rejection and criticism. You might find yourself avoiding certain situations or withdrawing from social interactions to prevent potential negative feedback or judgment.

3. Emotional Resilience Fluctuations: Individuals with RSD may experience emotional resilience that varies greatly depending on the situation. You might feel confident and capable in one moment, but a minor perceived criticism can instantly erode your self-assurance.

4. Negative Self-Perception: RSD can lead to negative self-perception and a sense of inadequacy. You might be overly self-critical, attributing mistakes or failures to personal shortcomings rather than situational factors.

5. Social Avoidance: Due to the fear of rejection, you might find yourself avoiding social situations or withdrawing from relationships to protect yourself from potential emotional pain.

If you’re struggling with this - one of the best things you can do is to educate yourself. So.. TA-DA! You’re feeling better already, aren’t you?

🔹A few other tips: seek support, challenge negative thoughts, breathing techniques, grounding techniques, and journaling. You’re so very welcome 😘

Okay, switching gears to share two of my favorite things right now that you may want to save in your favorites:

✔️Copilot Money - helps manage your bills/money, tracks your spending and sooo ADHD-friendly. Check it out! Use code TRINA2 for a two month free trial

✔️Llama Life - Handy little helper that I use to manage my task list each day. It’s this neat little sidebar you keep on your screen that shows a visual timer and helps me keep my to-do list in check, so that I’m not overbooking myself. Check it out! Use the code ADHDSOCIAL20 for 20% off your first payment

It’s also PODCAST DAY!!! 🥂I’m trying something new this week and recorded my first ever SOLO episode! Woot! If you’re interested in learning more about my ADHD diagnosis story - this is your episode.

Listen Here

Once again, I continue to show gratitude to you for showing up here. I love doing this work and connecting with other ADHDers - and you being here helps me to continue to do that. So, thank you. Consider sharing this newsletter with your friends - it would mean the world to me. 👇

xoxo,

Trina

I’ve been facing some big decisions lately - ones that are keeping me up at night. I’ve noticed that I either agonize over decisions OR I make decisions instantly - there’s really no in-between for me and I attribute some (or all) of that to my ADHD. Let’s dig in to decision-making and ADHD, shall we? But first, a poll as always:

One of the most noticeable effects of ADHD on decision making is impulsivity. This can manifest in hasty decisions, neglecting to consider potential consequences, and choosing immediate gratification over long-term benefits. For example, you might find yourself making impulsive purchases or changing career paths frequently without thoroughly evaluating the implications. 🥴 Boy, that’s relatable.

On the flip side, when faced with numerous options or complex situations, ADHDers may become paralyzed by indecision or opt for procrastination as a coping mechanism, which can further exacerbate decision-making difficulties.

Are you currently stuck in that paralyzed state — struggling to make a decision? Or are you regularly making impulsive decisions?

Here are a few tips to help bring some clarity:

1. Break it down into smaller steps and create a pro-con list. Are you thinking of making a large purchase? Pro-Con lists do wonders for me and I suggest starting here - even making it fun with markers/stickers.. Lisa Frank-style 🐬🌈

2. Seek support - just talking it out with someone else usually helps move the needle in one direction or another. Seek support but ultimately remember that it’s YOUR decision.. don’t put too much power in someone else’s hands 😉

3. Practicing mindfulness can significantly improve decision making for people with ADHD. Meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help increase self-awareness and reduce impulsivity.

4. Implement a "Two-Day Rule" to avoid impulsive decisions. When confronted with a significant choice, give yourself two days before finalizing it. Use this time to gather more information, think through the consequences, and consider your emotions. This brief waiting period can help you gain a clearer perspective and make more deliberate decisions.

   ---

In related news, I’ve decided to open up TWO new spots for 1:1 Coaching! 😉 If you’re an ADHD Creative who is struggling with prioritizing, burnout, accountability, and wants more PEACE and flow in your life — this is your sign to check out my coaching program.

Schedule a chat

It’s also my favorite day of the week — PODCAST DAY!!! This week is extra exciting because I’m chatting with my good friend, Deniz Perry, about the 8 dimensions of wellness.. among a few other important tangents. You won’t want to miss this episode!

Check it out

I’m so grateful for this community and the support system that I’ve gained through being open about my struggles with ADHD. Thank you for being here! 😘

xoxo,

Trina