The Shame-game and ADHD

How I started to recognize shame and turn it around

Hi.

I wanna talk about shame today. (I know. Thrilling. Just what you’ve been hoping for 🫠) It’s been coming up for me more than I’d like to admit, and I think there’s a lot to unpack here. For all of us.

But first, a poll:

I’ve been working with an ADHD Coach for a while now, and recently I’ve started to connect the dots between my overwhelm and SHAME.

Here’s an example:

I’m currently avoiding calling a family member (whom I love deeply). It feels overwhelming because I know I’ll likely need to apologize for yet another thing I’ve probably done/not done: not calling back soon enough, not responding to texts, forgetting something important… Whatever it is, I’m 125% sure I’ve done one or all of these things and there’s SO. MUCH. SHAME.

It’s the apologizing for being ME that hurts the most. 😞

But, here’s where my coach from Shimmer has helped: I’m working on strategies to eliminate this specific issue with phone calls. For example: I’m not allowed to say “I’ll call you back” anymore. It ain’t happening - so stop saying it. Instead, I’m asking my family/friends to help me with this issue. I’m being much more open and honest about my (very real) struggles with memory and asking for their help instead of always apologizing. I’m involving them in the process more and more. We’re scheduling our more regular chats via Calendly now. So far, it’s working for me.

I know not everyone is supportive - that’s an issue for another newsletter.😉 But, if you’re struggling in an area, maybe help is needed. And maybe that’s okay. ?

I’m interested to hear some of your experiences with shame and how you’re overcoming it. Leave a comment - I know it will help someone else.

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To brag on Shimmer one more time, they are hosting an event on Monday, July 1st that I think goes right along with this, because reflection time is so critical for us.

This goal-setting workshop is the perfect opportunity to look at the first half of the year and set a strong course for the remainder of 2024. I encourage you to reflect on how shame is showing up in your daily life and how the heck you can remove it.

IT HAS TO GO. ✌️

Wishing you a shame-free rest of the week.. 💖

So much love,

Trina